MILF Lyrics

MILF

by Katie Goodman & Soren Kisiel
copyright 2010

M to the I to the L to the F

 “Come on, come on now!”

 M to the I to the L to the F  

 “If ya don’t know what a MILF is, google it!”

 M to the I to the L to the F

 “­­­­­­­­­­­Acronym in the house!”

 M to the I to the L to the F

 You see them struttin’ all over town 

You can tell that they know what’s goin’ down

Don’t know what'cha missin’! Get one if you can!

 Ever done it in a mini van?! 

M to the I to the L to the F  

 “There’s lotsa room.”

 M to the I to the L to the F 

“I’m just sayin’…” 

How many times

Have I met some guy

See him ‘cross the room,

He’s giving me the eye.

“Hey how ‘bout dinner tomorrow night at eight?”

I say, "Yeah, I’ll get a sitter-- That’ll work out great."

He freezes up

And his mouth goes dry

And you see a slight twitch

In his left eye

‘Cause the game has changed!

You know what’s comin’ next:

His eyes start to wander

tryin to find the exit

There’s a bead of sweat

Running down his head

Cause he’s scared of a woman

That’s got a kid.

“Uh look, baby, did I say tomorrow night? Uhh… look over there!”

 And then he runs for his life.

M to the I to the L to the F

"Jesus, why don’t they just grow a pair?!"

M to the I to the L to the F

“I know what these boys are afraid of…”

See, they’re at the bottom of the pyramid

To get in with a MILF, get in with her kid

When she says her kids comes first, boy, you better hark her,

Or she’ll smoke your ass like Mary Louise Parker!

 M to the I to the L to the F

"Get it? Smoke…? Weeds...?"

M to the I to the L to the F

"I love that show."

“Aww damn, did somebody say Mary Louise Parker?!" 

Oh, did we mention that MILF’s are hot?

 That’s the “I’d Like to Fuck” part, in case you forgot.

Mary Louise--  a MILF!

Demi Moore-- a MILF!

Catherine Zeta Jones-- a MILF!

Michelle Obama-- First MILF!

Cara-- a MILF!

Goldie Hawn-- Gran-MILF!

Jennifer Lopez-- a MILF!

Sarah Palin--

"WHAT?!?!"

Oh! Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Jesus! Fuck!

Now if you never had a MILF, class is in session.

Allow us to contradict your first impression.

 You might think it’s all just spit up and legos,

But it comes down to just one word:

 KEGELS!

 "Do the kegel dance!"

Breast pump-- Can you handle this? 

 Drive to ballet lessons-- Can you Handle this?

 Babysitter cancels-- Can you handle this?

 Cuz if not, then you don’t get to handle this.

 Is it hot in here?  I see you fanning yourself.

 Yeah, you’re startin’ to feel the call of the MILF

And you sittin’ there thinking, What can I do?

Cuz now, you wish you was a motha fucka too!

Wish you was a motha fucka

"Yeah I said it."

Wish you was a motha fucka

"You lookin’ at me?"

Wish you was a motha fucka

"You wish."

Wish you was a motha fucka

And if you’re a MILF who’s a lesbian

Go get yourself another cuz  two MILFS is better than one!

 "Two MILF’S? Almost too much to think about…"

 “Break it down girls!”

She’s fine on her own , yeah, don’t try to pull a fast one.

 You think that she ain’t picky? She got rid of the last one.

 So if you the kinda guy  with a future filled with maybes,

 Don’t waste her time boy,  she already got babies.